cleaning all the things

I remember...

When P.O. broke up with me when i was a senior in high school, and mom took me to Turtle's record store in Center Point to buy me the new Five For Fighting album, America Town.

When I watched S.K.I.P. perform for the first time at the Crowbar, when he opened for Sol.illaquists of Sound, and me and my husband watched with mouths agape.

When I talked about the sublime Sublime CD with my girlfriends in middle school, and how we fawned over Bradley.

When I watched Matt Butcher perform at New World Brewery and cried over it and bought a t-shirt and an album, and wanted to buy something else but he didn't have anything else, so instead I gave him cash and asked him to keep making music.

When B drove from the Wilderness Preserve to buy brewing supplies in Tampa and I took him to Vinyl Fever and spent $100 on a bazillion albums.  Courtyard Hounds, MIA, Passion Pit...

When I skipped work to go to Treasure Island with A and we stopped at the record store on the way home and I bought Jenny Lewis and Rolling Stones albums.

When Microgroove hosted a free skool on vinyl.  When I bought CDs afterward.  When I felt amazing that I had begun something that I was watching take its own form and shape.

When I took English II at Florida College with Mrs. Atherton. She showed a lot of cleavage and made us read the Yellow Wallpaper.  I remember her accusing me of plagiarism.  And I remember going to the Dean of the school and telling him that it was bullshit.  And I remember him telling me that Mrs. Atherton had been a devoted professor at Florida College for years and would never falsely accuse someone.   And I remember that being an incredibly pivotal point in my career as a Christian... what a terribly, terribly narrow mindset everyone maintained at that institution. 

When I enrolled at HCC, and everything fell into line.  Everything was organized.  Neatly written.  Labeled.  I could find the answer if I tried hard enough.  Everything made sense, everything was clear.  I can't find the answers, now.

When I enrolled at University of Florida.  My first semester at UF was the semester that K and I split up.  I remember my concentration breaking.  My notes faltering.  My logical, neat, organized, sensible system began to falter.  When Natural Resource Policies and learning about legislation to create drainage districts seemed interesting but not interesting enough because suddenly, a whole new world was opening to me, and so my enrollment at UF also began my enrollment in a life that was messy, and scary, and demanded me to press on into previously uncharted territories.