Okay.
I had a phone conversation tonight with M. And we starting talking about the lameness of showers. You know, like baby showers and wedding showers. We both think they're dumb. "Oh, even though we both probably work full time and have decent incomes, we are going to register for like the most expensive things we can think of and then guilt you into buying them!" Whatevs. I hate showers. I didn't have a wedding shower, a bridal shower, or a lingerie shower... or whatever other type of shower you get when you're engaged. That shit annoys me so much.
Anyway, so after we bitched about showers, we started talking about birthday parties. I also hate birthdays. Not so much other people's birthday parties, just my own. It is mortifying to me when a group of people sing me happy birthday. I also don't like opening presents in front of everyone. I don't want to blow out the damn candles and make a wish. I don't want to read all the cards out loud and then feign gratefulness for the pre-written hallmark words. I fucking hate birthdays, man. I just hate them. I always have.
But here's what I mostly hate: Surprise birthday parties. I have always hated the idea of surprise birthday parties, and I haven't sat down and actually contemplated why that is. But I figured it out tonight during my conversation with M.
I am a Seven in the Enneagram scheme of things. The Enthusiast.
I like to PLAN. I am good at planning. I plan vacations, I plan meals, I plan trips, I plan how to reorganize my furniture, I plan paintings, I plan a bazillion and one projects that I am constantly in the middle of doing. And I don't want you to do it for me. I want to be in the loop at all times and be completely aware of what's going on. And so whhhhyyyyyy would I like surprise birthday parties?! Wow, a surprise birthday party combines both surprises and birthday parties -- two of my biggest pet peeves in the world! =P
Friends, make note: Surprise birthday parties are an epic fail.
I friking dreee with you man, I hate birthdays and not theirs, Its mine. i am so pissed when a whole lot of things are wasted, moony food, unhealthy food, and all the other crap just because today is another day you go around the sun. I Think birthdays are the one of the most ridiculous thing to have ever invented. People should celebrate accomplishments, not stuff that happens every fricking year. But then what do I know i can be classified as socially awkward by our society's standards.
ReplyDeleteMy gf of over 8 years has planned a surprise 50th birthday party for me. I found out today and am furious. I hate this kind of shit. Hate doesn't seem to be a strong enough word for how I feel about it. I have a month to dread it. After this long, I still can't believe she thinks I would like this. She doesn't know I know at this point. I am becoming resentful and angry the more I think of it.
ReplyDeleteThe last year has probably been the worst of my life. I am depressed and angry more and more. This won't help. In fact, I think this is the beginning of the end for us. I am still shocked that she would come up with this. I thought she knew me better.
I'm with you, surprise parties are the worst thing.
ReplyDeleteI was the unfortunate victim for my 30th birthday, i'll never forget it, it was the worst day of my life.
A day i'll never get back and will remember for all the wrong reasons for the rest of my life.